I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
