the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
