hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
