i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
