People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
