You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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