Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
