Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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