dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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