She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
