Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
