Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
