How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
