I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
