maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Randomize
