Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
