Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
