Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
only if we run a train.
done.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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