I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is it penis luge time yet?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
