This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
