I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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