the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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