Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
