Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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