hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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