Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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