uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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