You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
