i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
