Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
