i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
