do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I want a musical about memes.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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