there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
