K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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