What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You are the jesus of drinking
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
