So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
this beer tastes like vomit already
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
