I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
