I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
