Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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