Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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