Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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