Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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