So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
