Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
