I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
