i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
