Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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