in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need a beard to bite.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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