Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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