wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
