BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
