So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
