haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
